No Man's Land

So here's another one up for discussion. In the past few weeks I've had a number of interesting happenings regarding the intersection of my faith and my music.

- I had a show cancelled at a club because they found out I was a "christian artist".

- I had a show cancelled at a christian college because this site links to a brewery.

- I did an interview for a major music blog and was told later that if it was known I was a "christian artist" the interview would not have happened. The interviewer is an atheist with some painful history of organized religion. We also hit it off and had a wonderful conversation which I think we'll continue.

If you've come to this site for very long you've probably realized that A) I'm a Christian and B) I never talk about christian music. I don't talk about it because, for the most part, I really don't like it. I think, in a lot of ways, it does a disservice to both music and christianity.

The problem is, when I was 18 and moved to Nashvile to sign a "christian" record contract I didn't know you could be a Christian and still play regular music. So I didn't. I played "christian" music until my band broke up and I burned out on pretty much everything about Christianity.

I have made every one of my solo records without regard to the weird creature of "christian" music. I just made them for me. But I can't shake this CCM thing. My solo records show up under "inspirational" on iTunes.

On the other hand, some Christian colleges and venues have reacted to things I've posted on here and made it harder for me to get in there. It seems both sides have expectations that limit and constrict. One side talks about "being true to yourself" while the other speaks of "freedom" yet when I exercise my freedom to be myself, I find that I don't fit in very neatly with either side.

I know it seems like I'm complaining, but I don't mean to. I just don't know where I fit in, and I don't know how to change that. Do you have ideas? Have you seen ways other artists have successfully navigated this stuff? Am I asking the wrong questions? Do you think I should just pick a side and stick with it? Going full-on mainstream would mean starting over in a lot of ways, and I can barely support my family now. Does that mean I'm selling out? These are the thoughts that continually circle around in my brain. I trust you guys. You know me. I'd love your thoughts.

P.S. I want to say, also, that there are some truly wonderful things happening with Christian artists that would probably not be the same without the support of the church. Things like Blood:Water mission, Dalit Freedom Network and Compassion International. I am so proud to play a small part in what these organizations do, and its one of the reasons that playing in churches and Christian places is really rewarding and powerful.

weekend in Normal

We’re about an hour from Nashville and I’m typing this so I can post it when I get home. It’s been a fantastic weekend and I want to majorly thank everybody that had a hand in it.

It all started very early Friday morning. Todd and Dean came over to my place and we finished loading the trailer and took off, with warm Bojangles in our bellies thanks to Todd. We drove to Normal, Il, my hometown, and picked up Mark, before heading up the rest of the way to Naperville.

We didn’t have exact directions to the venue, so once we got near Dean found a stray wireless signal and tried to mapquest it, but Todd rolled down a window and asked a jogger, which proved a bit quicker. Take that, science! The venue was a tiny, white church building. There is nothing more vibey than playing a rock show in a tiny, white church so we were all excited, and yes, that was sarcasm. However, we walked into the place and it was great. They had gutted it, put in a stage, good sound system and a bunch of tables. The basement of the building was a homeless pantry/thrift store sort of thing. It was just an awesome place to play, you could tell cool things were happening there.

The show was a total blast. I told a couple of the stories from the “don’t tell� pile and the crowd seemed to be having a good time. Mark and I were in The Normals together, he taught me how to play guitar, and it felt great to play rock and roll with him again. He creates this wall of texture and sound that I will never understand and always admire. Todd and Dean played great, as well, and we really just had plain old fun making music.

Some of my family came out, and I was glad they got to see a fun show and that we got to spend some time with them. The show was followed by some delicious Giordano’s pizza, a little Fat Tire, and an actual night’s sleep. Twas a good night.

We got up way later than planned Saturday morning, walked past a hundred old men wearing swords in the lobby (the Knights of Columbus, anyone? what is that about?) and started back down to Normal. The weather had gotten really bad. Huge snowstorms have been rocking the Midwest, and we counted 12 cars off the road during the two-hour drive. It was a little nerve-wracking.

I haven’t been back to Normal in over a year, since Christmas of ’05, so it was good to be back. My parents redid their basement and Todd got some good video of my Dad giving a tour. Cason is playing with Mat Kearney who’s on tour with John Mayer right now. They were playing in town last night, so he came over too and we hung out at my parent’s place for a little while. The guys headed out with Cason to watch their soundcheck and I went over to visit my old YoungLife leaders Amy and Ben and their family.

The rest of the evening we spent at the John Mayer show, and it was fantastic. Mat’s band is made up mostly of good friends from Nashville so we got to hang out with them and catch their show. B.J. from The Normals and his wife came, too, so it was the second time in about two months that four out of the five of us have been together. I got to quickly catch up with one old friend from high school, which was great, but besides that it was really weird to be back in my hometown and find only familiar faces in folks from Nashville. Just surreal.

The guys in Mat’s band watch John’s set every night, and we had VIP passes so we could go anywhere in the room. It was great to watch up close, then back at the sound board, then back up to the front. A nice perk, for sure. John’s band was amazing, as was he, and I got chills at one point during their show. As I’ve stated before, I’m a recent Mayer convert, and last night was proof that I made the right choice.

It was fun to watch it with guys who’ve seen it every night. The set is really different from show to show, and they rarely play songs the same way twice. They play together so well, it was just a blast to watch. And I stood five feet away from Jessica Simpson behind the sound board for a while, which my wife thinks is pretty cool.

We stayed with my folks last night. My mom made pancakes and bacon this morning, and we partook with my brother and his wife before heading off for Nashville. The weather wasn’t as bad, but it was still pretty nasty. We counted thirteen cars off the road this time. Mostly pickup trucks. I have some theories why. Todd’s driving now and we’re pulling into the outskirts of Nashville.

We start officially tracking the new Caedmon’s Call record on Friday, and I have a bunch of work left to do on the songs, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ll keep you posted. For those of you that stuck with this long, probably boring post, thank you. Hope you all had a great weekend and thanks again to everybody who came out to our show Friday night. Hope you had as much fun as we did.

last-minute info

Some last minute info on tonight's show in Naperville, IL. The address is:

The Union
129 W. Benton Ave.
Naperville, IL 60540.

It's actually a couple blocks off of the college campus in downtown Naperville. It's an old white church building across the street from some new million dollar condos.

Due to weather screwing up travel plans, Matthew Perryman Jones will most likely not be playing this time. The rest of us will be there, though, and it's going to be a mighty fine time either way.

keeping it going

Can I just say how awesome you guys are?

Over the past couple of weeks I've written two rambling posts about topics I openly know little about. I asked for your opinions, and you are giving them. And you don't all agree. And that thrills me. It means we're having a real discussion.

Between the babies, the Caedmon's record and the getting the house back together after the plumbing disaster I've had little time to sleep, let alone blog, so I really appreciate your patience. And it's nice to look and see that you guys seem to be keeping it going without me. I just love that.

Some quick news:

- I just ordered the first ever ILikeAndy.com t-shirts. They will start as a very limited edition, since I have little money to print them up, but I'll keep them coming. Stay tuned, I imagine this first batch will go quickly.

- I'm playing near Chicago Friday night, at North Central College in Naperville. The show starts at 7PM. If you live near, we'd love to see you out there. I'll have a great band and hopefully we will have great pizza sometime that night as well. You're welcome to join us.

- Jason Feller and Emily Deloach are the two greatest people alive. They decided they wanted to spend their Valentine's Day watching our babies so Alison and I could go out for dinner. You should thank them by going to their websites (Jason's and Emily's) and buying their albums.

Ok, LOST is about on and, rumor has it, they're actually getting back to the story tonight. Thanks for being who you are and for being a part of what we're doing here in Nashville.

love your enemies

This past year I've started to become a news junkie. For that you can blame Apple Computers and the Drudge Report. I keep reading about wars and killing and torture and revenge. I fly most every weekend and am incredibly frustrated with the incompetence and screwy economics of national security. I find myself more and more thinking like a pacifist.

As stated by a number of Caedmon's fans in 2003, I am no Derek Webb. I don't have this all figured out. This post you're reading is me working these thoughts out, and I'd love your opinions.

Obviously, the war in Iraq is on my mind the most when I think about these things. I've had some good conversations from guys who have served over there and I am well aware that there is good happening in the area and that all we see in the media is the bad stuff. Just like the non-stop "news" about whats-her-name, the rich Playboy model who just died, the media reports the darkest stuff to get the best ratings.

However, it's obvious to all that the war isn't going "as well" as it was supposed to. The president said that, and he, for all his faults, always seems to say what he really thinks. But what does a war that "goes well" look like? A quick victory, I assume. But the truth is that a quick victory or a slow loss look very similar in a global sense: many, many people are killed by many, many other people.

I've had it explained to me many times how "Thou shalt not kill" doesn't apply to war, but I still have a hard time believing it. I also have a hard time believing in the idea of a "just war". What's cited as a just war is often America's involvement in WWII. Nazi-ism was terrible and the holocaust needed to end, that is so true, but America didn't enter the war to stop the Holocaust. We entered because Japan bombed us and we fought back. History is taught to us very differently than it actually happened. Much like our current war, we declared war for revenge while carrying a banner of liberation.

If America really entered Iraq because it's our job to stop dictators and genocides then why haven't we invaded Darfur or Sudan or North Korea? I don't buy the "teacher stopping the bully from picking on the other kids" bit. Not that it didn't happen, it did, but that wasn't the motivation. I'm sure it has something to do with oil and money, it always does. I'm sure it had something to do with helping people out, that's always a good thing. I'm very sure it had an awful lot to do with revenge.

But this war is flawed like any war, and I don't claim to understand any of them. What I do understand, though, is that every father killed creates an enemy out of the child. There are orphans in Baghdad and in New York City who will grow up hating the people on the other side. More killing leads to more enemies.

I was terrified and angered by the treatment of Saddam Hussein. Not that he wasn't guilty as a mob boss, he was, but they made him a martyr and that was a very bad thing to do. I was glad to see America getting as far away from that as it could. Martyrs are powerful things, and war creates many of them.

I see some of both sides though, when I really think about it. The Holocaust of Nazi Germany needed to end, as it does now in the Sudan and Darfur. The oppression of the Dalit in India needs to end. In the case of the Nazis I don't know how else you could have stopped them. Could there have been another way?

It just seems, though, that fighting just leads to more fighting. Hiroshima won the war, but at what a terrible cost. Our proud nation killed hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children. I will never see a justification for that. Somehow Japan has moved on, though the scars must run so incredibly deep.

Even if the weapons are laid down, the wars still live on in the heart. I live in the South right down the Interstate from a statue of the founder of the KKK. That war is still being fought by some people.

I ran across this article yesterday from The New Yorker. This paragraph was really interesting to me...

Since September 11th, depictions of torture have become much more common on American television. Before the attacks, fewer than four acts of torture appeared on prime-time television each year, according to Human Rights First, a nonprofit organization. Now there are more than a hundred, and, as David Danzig, a project director at Human Rights First, noted, “the torturers have changed. It used to be almost exclusively the villains who tortured. Today, torture is often perpetrated by the heroes.

That is a pretty incredible picture of us as a culture now, don't you think? They only keep putting that stuff on TV because we keep choosing to watch it. We got attacked and it seems, at least subliminally, we want to fight back.

The only real way to end a war, that I can see, is by ending the fight. For good. And that only happens one way. Not by victory, but by forgiveness. We will kill each other until someone chooses forgiveness over revenge, even over justice.

Especially as a Christian, one who believes that God chose to forgive me over exacting justice, how can I not apply that in war? Weren't we commanded to love our enemies? I don't see any grey areas there, as much as I feel I'm supposed to. I just don't. Not only do I think forgiveness is the wisest thing to do, I feel like it's the right thing to do.

Now I know that some of you readers are folks in the service. I would REALLY like to know your thoughts on this. A few of you are veterans. Please take a few minutes to write your responses to this, even if its to tell me I'm an ungrateful fool. To all of you, how do you interpret "love your enemies" as a nation at war?

I read a story by the great Wendell Berry a few months ago where the main character told how his grandfather on one side shot and killed his great-grandfather on the other. The son of the slain man stopped a lynch mob on their way to get the killer. The narrator ends the story by saying of his grandfather "I was the child of his forgiveness." I couldn't help but cry with the weight and beauty of that sentence. I want my children to live with the freedom of forgiveness. How do I start doing that?