Tuesday
Aug192008
My Confession
Tuesday, August 19, 2008 at 01:34AM
Well, today may have just been incredibly productive. Last night, before I went to bed, I had an idea for song #5 of the Letters 2 EP. Today I was able to finish it. And tonight I think I just wrote the final tune. It's ten minutes old right now, so it may not totally there, time will tell. I have to find time to record them still, hopefully I can get to it by the end of the week. I'll keep you posted.
The song I just finished takes cues in the verses from what folks sent in, but the chorus is pretty much the story of my last year and a moment I had this past week in Canada. At the end of our time together we were taking communion, and we spent a good bit of time in silent confession.
Now, it doesn't take too many listens of the Normals catalog to know I'm pretty hard on myself. But this time, as a bunch of things crashed together inside of me, I began confessing completely different things. Stories I've never written. Songs I've never finished. Ideas of things to do in the studio that I never got around to. Ideas Alison had that I never fully thought through.
In short, I started confessing for not being who I was meant to be, for not doing the things I love. I was confessing for hiding my passions and gifts because they scared me, or I thought they'd scare other folks, or who knows why... And not only that, I was just confessing what the things were, because I had forgotten...
If I believe that God created me uniquely, and that He gave me these ideas, talents, perspectives, then it's worth confessing that I've not lived them fully.
This "confession" left me feeling more free than I have been few times since I was a child. I almost choked on the bread and wine I took it so fast.
Lord, help me remember. Give me the strength, patience and vision to be who you've created me to be, and to enjoy finding who that is.
The song I just finished takes cues in the verses from what folks sent in, but the chorus is pretty much the story of my last year and a moment I had this past week in Canada. At the end of our time together we were taking communion, and we spent a good bit of time in silent confession.
Now, it doesn't take too many listens of the Normals catalog to know I'm pretty hard on myself. But this time, as a bunch of things crashed together inside of me, I began confessing completely different things. Stories I've never written. Songs I've never finished. Ideas of things to do in the studio that I never got around to. Ideas Alison had that I never fully thought through.
In short, I started confessing for not being who I was meant to be, for not doing the things I love. I was confessing for hiding my passions and gifts because they scared me, or I thought they'd scare other folks, or who knows why... And not only that, I was just confessing what the things were, because I had forgotten...
If I believe that God created me uniquely, and that He gave me these ideas, talents, perspectives, then it's worth confessing that I've not lived them fully.
This "confession" left me feeling more free than I have been few times since I was a child. I almost choked on the bread and wine I took it so fast.
Lord, help me remember. Give me the strength, patience and vision to be who you've created me to be, and to enjoy finding who that is.
Reader Comments (8)
Your post reminds me of point 3 from this: http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2008/08/379-michael-phelps-sermon-illustrations.html. Greatest Website Ever(TM) by the way.
Looking forward to hearing some tunes from Letters 2.
that's good stuff.
as i was reading it i thought of ben shive's song, "rise up." knowing we will rise up and be all that we are meant to be makes confession so much sweeter.
repentance used to hurt so much when i thought i was earning something. as i come to grips with repentance being an admission of how much i need god's grace, i find it so much sweeter (though not always easier) to repent.
Wow. I never thought of confessing those certain aspects of my life. That's pretty profound.
Andy I can't wait to hear this EP -I think your [and arguably everybody's] best songs are the most personal ones so I'm even more excited about this newest song or two.
Glad you had a safe trip and have been able to get stuff done!
Andy, your honesty is inspiring, thanks.
"I was confessing for hiding my passions and gifts because they scared me, or I thought they’d scare other folks"
Could we get some enlightenment on this or too personal?
Andy-
I have been following your blog since we met last year in PA (at a church show where my wife introduced us as having the same babysitter as the Goodgame's...) and I have never felt so compelled to comment as I do reading this post. I have had a very similar "moment" recently - it's good to know you're never alone.
Thanks man. I appreciate reading your thoughts. James 5:16.