Thursday
Feb142008
A Valentine Miracle
Thursday, February 14, 2008 at 03:53PM
Our scene opens as Andrew is looking out his living room window, a winsome smile ever slightly perched upon his countenance. It seems he is remembering something, something a little sad, a little happy, and very true. The screen shimmers around the edges as we are taken back in time to that special place...
The two high-school boys are in Mark's basement, trying to play along to the Smashing Pumpkins "Gish" album. Mark takes a break from wailing on the J.B. Player and looks over at his friend.
"Andy," he says "I just don't know what to do."
Mark," his friend replies "I have an idea."
Mark's face lights up as Andy unleashes his plan. "You are dating Betty* who is terrifingly obsessed with you, but you don't like her. Why are you with her again?"
"I had a dream that we were dating and I thought it was a vision."
"Oh, that's right. Anyway, you don't really like her. You're in love with Sally*. You can't just dump Betty because..."
"We have to go to the Valentine's Dance. On Feb 12."
"That's right. So here's my idea. Take Betty to the dance on the 12th, then dump her on the 13th, then give Sally a dozen roses on the 14th. It's a perfect plan."
"It IS a perfect plan," Mark realizes aloud.
"It's a perfect plan," both boys verbally agree again, at the same time. Aloud.
Epilogue:
Mark listened well, took into account Andy's obvious wisdom in the ways of both women and timing, and finally acted on his advice.
As you can well imagine, both girls were thrilled with the turn of events and everyone was happy.** It was a Valentine Miracle.
*Names have been changed to protect the people involved.
**So has the outcome.
The two high-school boys are in Mark's basement, trying to play along to the Smashing Pumpkins "Gish" album. Mark takes a break from wailing on the J.B. Player and looks over at his friend.
"Andy," he says "I just don't know what to do."
Mark," his friend replies "I have an idea."
Mark's face lights up as Andy unleashes his plan. "You are dating Betty* who is terrifingly obsessed with you, but you don't like her. Why are you with her again?"
"I had a dream that we were dating and I thought it was a vision."
"Oh, that's right. Anyway, you don't really like her. You're in love with Sally*. You can't just dump Betty because..."
"We have to go to the Valentine's Dance. On Feb 12."
"That's right. So here's my idea. Take Betty to the dance on the 12th, then dump her on the 13th, then give Sally a dozen roses on the 14th. It's a perfect plan."
"It IS a perfect plan," Mark realizes aloud.
"It's a perfect plan," both boys verbally agree again, at the same time. Aloud.
Epilogue:
Mark listened well, took into account Andy's obvious wisdom in the ways of both women and timing, and finally acted on his advice.
As you can well imagine, both girls were thrilled with the turn of events and everyone was happy.** It was a Valentine Miracle.
*Names have been changed to protect the people involved.
**So has the outcome.
Reader Comments (14)
Eh?
It warms my heart to think of you guys playing Gish. I freakin' loved that album. I set up my drum kit for years so I could play "I Am One" like Jimmy did. Can't tell you how many times I listened to "Window Paine."
"So has the outcome." What? I don't get the ** note.
P.S. Listening to then Normals 7 song set opening for Caedmon's at Texas A&M -- I've listened to this concert at least 30 times and I don't think I ever get tired of it. I nearly start screaming right here in my chair during "Don't Hold Back" when I hear Mark singing at the top of his lungs. Jeez you guys kicked butt live.
Mark, I think he means that just as the names were changed, so was the outcome of the story. I don't know why both of the girls weren't just madly in love with that brilliant plan. Sounds foolproof to me! :)
I'm guessing the truth is that this idea went sideways in real life- this just strikes me as a weird post. I was at the same show with Mark (the one from the comment not the story) and I agree the A&M show was awesome. Now if someone would just give me a copy of the show *cough Mark cough. *
D'oh. Just kept on reading it like a computer science guy. Substituting the "**" for what he put in the footnote rather than reading straight down.
Maybe this is the kind of stuff you post when you have very little sleep and no downtime with two little girls.
Fascinating.
Ok, this is an odd memory to pull up, Andrew. First off, you know how seriously I take my dreams. Just ask my wife (*Sally). I dreamed about a chocolate donut and pizza the other night. My wife knew when I told her that the next morning, not to question when I got in the car and drove to the store to purchase...you guessed it, a donut and a pizza.
I'll also have you know. In that same dream, I walked back to the table where I was to eat my tasty donut and pizza, to find only the crust left in a perfect circle and 4 giggling normal's band mates. In my dream I recalled wanting to hurt someone.
I have grown up, so I did not hurt anyone at the store when I bought my tasty chocolate donut and pizza. But there was a day...
A correction, it was "Siamese Dream", not "Gish", that we were jamming to. We were pre-sequencing a really bad bass and drum loop so we could play "Honey" for Young Life that coming Monday night...which turned out to be one of my most embarrassing musical moments in history...just behind me barfing on stage at a Normals show in Chicago..
Good day, Andrew-Fans.
The Real Mark Lockett
OHHHHHHH...
I'm reading like a computer programmer.. substituting everything rather than just reading the page straight down. Stupid.
Even cooler to know that it was "Siamese Dream" -- "Soma" and "Geek U.S.A." changed the way I listened to music.
What song did you guys like the most off that album?
Barfing on stage? That must have been AWESOME. 'D you finish the set?
The "Fake" Mark :P
The scary thing is, it was not Betty or Sally who had their name written in large letters in our backyard to be viewed from a plane; but rather Josie***.
Not that this has anything to do at all with Andy/Mark... but the Smashing Pumpkins are probably my closest brush with fame. Billy Corgan and James Iha went to my high school. James was in my class (and in a number of my classes).
Just a passing comment. We now return to your irregulary-unscheduled whatever-this-is thing. :-)
The really, really crazy thing is that it was my mother that put the fear of God into Mark not to break up with Betty until after the dance. Which is the reason why Andy was helping Mark decide what to do. I won. Betty and Josie lost! Thanks, Mom!! ;)
Wow, this is like watching old 7th Heaven episodes twelve years from now.
We should have more stories of (insert your holiday) Miracles.
How would one miraculously celebrate President's Day?
>How would one miraculously celebrate President’s Day?
...a school field trip to your state capitol whereby you make suggestions to your state congress-person which results in world peace!
Ahh, yes......a miracle.
the real sally just blew josie's cover!!!