Things I do not understand about products for children

- Why do clothes for infants have so many buttons? Not snaps, but actual buttons? And why are they always on the back? I assume the designers of infant clothing have never actually raised children.

- Why does the man with the yellow hat continue to tell George to stay put and not get into trouble? George never stays put and ALWAYS gets into trouble. Just because it always works out in the end should not change this. The man with the yellow hat is such a pragmatist.

- We have a bus that sings "The Wheels on the Bus" and a table that sings the ABC's. Both of these singers have been horribly and terribly auto-tuned. They sound like square waves and not singers. I have to listen to them dozens and dozens of times throughout the day. Why? Why?

Comments

[(Another) Josh]

I smell a song idea...

[Wes Crawford]

I have a friend who used to design baby clothes for Wal-Mart, and, no, she had in fact never raised children.

[Keith]

If you were the one engineering the sessions for those kid's songs, would you really want to spend an hour or two comping the vocals, or wouldn't you just rather stick auto-tune on there and bounce it out? I don't know, it's a toss up!

[jeff]

whatever you do, don't get any baby songs dvd's of Hap Palmer. He is described on one dvd as the "Bob Dylan" of childrens music. What does that mean?
I don't like his songs, maybe it is because our daughter listens to him all the time, everyday.

Also our daughter seems to really like Mat Kearney's "Undeniable" song, she cries out "uh oh, uh oh" when she wants to hear it.

On a somewhat related note, I thought about you and your music while noticing a magazine about breast feeding. How strange a connection you might ask? Well, not really, in the pediatricians office there is a magazine called "New Beginnings" and it is about breast feeding. I wonder how they heard your song and decided to make a magazine based on it?

[nickflora]

see? you could be a stand up comic.

"what's the deal with cheerios?"

[jarred mccauley]

"or with wheaties?"

wait that's lame

[Chris Hubbs]

I'm with you on the kids musical toys. We have a few and they're all scary. Eesh.

[Mattie]

Dude, I had the same questions in my mind while recently changing my one year old, then listening to this talking dog scream "It's LEARNING TIME!!!!" Who comes up with this stuff?

[todd]

My question is why don't the friends of George's owner mention the fact that he happens to wear yellow EVERYDAY. Why won't that lady-doctor friend of his give him a heads-up?

(And how many outfits does the dude have?)

[Ryan]

I think the sonic quality of the toys has more to do with the ultra-compression they use to squeeze it onto a chip, and then the cheapo electronics that they run it through to produce the sound... That being said we had a little doodad that sang an entirely different ABC song, and the vocalist was pretty great. I mean as far as children's song singers go (very annunciated and overly articulated syllables). Can't remember who made it, but it was a breath of fresh air for sure.

[Scot Justice]

The hysterical moment my three-year-old daughter didn’t get.

I was reading her “George Goes to the Hospital�, which is where George has to go to the hospital after swallowing a jigsaw puzzle piece. There is a line in the book that says that George had to swallow something called barium so they could see what was upsetting his stomach.

After reading this line, I looked at my daughter and said that if they didn’t find the problem in the upper GI tract, they would have to run another barium test on George. And he wouldn’t be a happy little monkey.

Scot

[Jud]

Snaps can be pretty annoying too, especially with infant clothes, because each brand has its own particular pattern of "diaper access" fasteners.