Wednesday
Jan182006
someday all the good things will not fade away
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 at 02:31AM
I imagine I'm as prone to nostalgia as anyone. In my line of work, maybe a little more prone than others.
We've been watching this tv series "Freaks and Geeks." Maybe the title comes across a bit more alienating than intended, but the show is incredible. It got cancelled before the first season was even finished, and has just been released as a box set a year or so ago. This post is not about this show, just to let you know, but this show has been the impetus of much thought over the past couple of weeks.
See, nostalgia always seems to be accompanied by a sort of bittersweet ache. There's a longing for something you can't define that sort of lingers in the autumn evenings of those memories. You kind of feel like crying, but you don't. You kind of feel like laughing, and again you don't. But the one thing you don't want to do is jump back into your real life. Not quite yet. Like a snooze button, you keep reaching for five more minutes.
Why? What is this thing that drives us to go back to the past? We haven't talked to these people in years, that store isn't even there anymore, we're over her and she's married now anyway... Like more than a few late-night thinkers before me I must come to the conclusion that there is something lacking, not in us, but in the world we live in.
I find myself so deeply resonating with this show, because it is an incredibly well-done look back at the high school years, and also because it ended so soon. I'm learning as a writer that your creations develop. I imagine characters are similar to melodies. I'm sure they have a technical definition, but I would be pretty unable to say what they are. I also can't tell you how important they are to me and how I hope the ones I really love will continue to be heard for many years beyond me. I've created work that I thought was good and that has been really meaningful to the people who heard it, but that was ended too early, just like this show.
I'm getting away from myself. The point is: I am resonating with this art, both for what was created and for what was done with it. They included this booklet that has little thoughts on each episode and it's amazing to see how these writers tried to get as much out of each one as they could, knowing their time was so short. You can tell the art was a product of much love.
The Bible tells us that "whatever is good and pure and holy" etc... are the things we should be thinking about. Like any command like this, you have to make the best you can with it. There is only one good and perfect thing and that is Jesus and His love. There are a million facets to think about within it, for sure, but I believe God has also given us things like art and memory as other ways of thinking on these good things. Obviously, we are fallen, and any work of art or any recollection will be, by nature, imperfect, but there is still truth in these things.
That longing we feel is not something to be ignored. The sadness that those fondly remembered times are over is real and is worth something. It is a pain that came with a curse, and it is also a reminder of a great promise. There will be a time when those aches are healed, not by finally forgetting them and leaving them in the past, but by entering into a new and holy world where time ceases to be an enemy and every good thing will stay present and true.
I wrote a song called "I Miss Those Days" a few years ago that addressed these same heart-strings. I fear I will only grow to know them more as I get older. I'm sure I'll think back to the days when I rocked Ella to sleep like I think of my brakes going out in my old Mazda at 40 mph. I'll miss them (like that Mazda didn't miss Bobes' car). I'll miss playing Christmas shows with Andy and Ben like I miss The Normals. Maybe not quite as much, but still... I'll miss this house with the screeches of the train yard a block away like I miss the long walks I used to take with "friends" who may or may not have become "more than friends." Every day is a precious, precious treasure, one that can sometimes be seen best through the lens of a song or a story. For now.
So I sit here at my kitchen table, the one that spent forty years in my grandparents' house, and am letting myself feel the ache of what is past. But I will be glad that there are things worth aching for; songs worth singing, hands worth holding, stories worth telling, and vows worth taking.
I'll probably never watch anything with these actors in it again. I don't really want to see them being anyone other than the people they already never were in the first place. Somewhere, though, if only in my living room for 43 minutes at a time, they are real enough to be true, and for that I am grateful.
We've been watching this tv series "Freaks and Geeks." Maybe the title comes across a bit more alienating than intended, but the show is incredible. It got cancelled before the first season was even finished, and has just been released as a box set a year or so ago. This post is not about this show, just to let you know, but this show has been the impetus of much thought over the past couple of weeks.
See, nostalgia always seems to be accompanied by a sort of bittersweet ache. There's a longing for something you can't define that sort of lingers in the autumn evenings of those memories. You kind of feel like crying, but you don't. You kind of feel like laughing, and again you don't. But the one thing you don't want to do is jump back into your real life. Not quite yet. Like a snooze button, you keep reaching for five more minutes.
Why? What is this thing that drives us to go back to the past? We haven't talked to these people in years, that store isn't even there anymore, we're over her and she's married now anyway... Like more than a few late-night thinkers before me I must come to the conclusion that there is something lacking, not in us, but in the world we live in.
I find myself so deeply resonating with this show, because it is an incredibly well-done look back at the high school years, and also because it ended so soon. I'm learning as a writer that your creations develop. I imagine characters are similar to melodies. I'm sure they have a technical definition, but I would be pretty unable to say what they are. I also can't tell you how important they are to me and how I hope the ones I really love will continue to be heard for many years beyond me. I've created work that I thought was good and that has been really meaningful to the people who heard it, but that was ended too early, just like this show.
I'm getting away from myself. The point is: I am resonating with this art, both for what was created and for what was done with it. They included this booklet that has little thoughts on each episode and it's amazing to see how these writers tried to get as much out of each one as they could, knowing their time was so short. You can tell the art was a product of much love.
The Bible tells us that "whatever is good and pure and holy" etc... are the things we should be thinking about. Like any command like this, you have to make the best you can with it. There is only one good and perfect thing and that is Jesus and His love. There are a million facets to think about within it, for sure, but I believe God has also given us things like art and memory as other ways of thinking on these good things. Obviously, we are fallen, and any work of art or any recollection will be, by nature, imperfect, but there is still truth in these things.
That longing we feel is not something to be ignored. The sadness that those fondly remembered times are over is real and is worth something. It is a pain that came with a curse, and it is also a reminder of a great promise. There will be a time when those aches are healed, not by finally forgetting them and leaving them in the past, but by entering into a new and holy world where time ceases to be an enemy and every good thing will stay present and true.
I wrote a song called "I Miss Those Days" a few years ago that addressed these same heart-strings. I fear I will only grow to know them more as I get older. I'm sure I'll think back to the days when I rocked Ella to sleep like I think of my brakes going out in my old Mazda at 40 mph. I'll miss them (like that Mazda didn't miss Bobes' car). I'll miss playing Christmas shows with Andy and Ben like I miss The Normals. Maybe not quite as much, but still... I'll miss this house with the screeches of the train yard a block away like I miss the long walks I used to take with "friends" who may or may not have become "more than friends." Every day is a precious, precious treasure, one that can sometimes be seen best through the lens of a song or a story. For now.
So I sit here at my kitchen table, the one that spent forty years in my grandparents' house, and am letting myself feel the ache of what is past. But I will be glad that there are things worth aching for; songs worth singing, hands worth holding, stories worth telling, and vows worth taking.
I'll probably never watch anything with these actors in it again. I don't really want to see them being anyone other than the people they already never were in the first place. Somewhere, though, if only in my living room for 43 minutes at a time, they are real enough to be true, and for that I am grateful.
