Corn is Good.

For Thanksgiving this year, our neighborhood group stayed in town and spent the day together.

We had brunch at one family's house, then had a parade down the street to another family's for dinner.  It was slightly weird and completely wonderful.

After the parade the kids performed a Thanksgiving play.  That I wrote.  It's shocking honesty and gripping performances stirred up quite the controversy.

But for you, dear readers, is the complete and uncensored script.  (Interspersed with pictures from the initial performance by the original cast.)

(Special note: Austin is a dad who recently broke his thumb in a bizarre costume party accident.  This has relevance later...)

And now, without further adieu...

Corn is Good

A play in three (3) acts.

by Andrew Osenga, Music by Matt Odmark

ACT I 

Our Native Americans are cooking over a fire and sweeping the ground.

“It sure is wonderful here in our native burial ground!” they said.

The Pilgrims enter the scene.  They are carrying guns.

“Ahoy!  We are Pilgrims!  We are hungry!” they said.

So the Native Americans made them some food.

“You can eat with us, hungry pilgrims!” they said, kindly.

“Thank you,” said the Pilgrims.  “This is a wonderful land.  May we have it?”

“Um...” said the Native Americans.

ACT II

The Native Americans are showing the Pilgrims how to hunt turkeys.  They are creeping through the forest.  The Pilgrims are carrying their guns and the Native Americans have bows and arrows.

“Shh...” said the Native Americans, “listen for the turkey...”

They all listen.  A turkey (played by Austin) crawls into the scene.

“Is that a turkey?” whisper the Americans.

“Yes” whisper the Native Americans.

They all yell, “Shoot it in the thumb!!  Shoot it in the thumb!!”

The turkey dies.  The people cheer.

ACT III

The Native Americans and Pilgrims are sitting down to dinner together.

“Welcome to our Thanksgiving Feast!” said the Native Americans.

“This is way better than the Mayflower!” said the Pilgrims.

The Native Americans got up and did their ceremonial Thanksgiving dance, while music plays.

“Thanksgiving!!” cheered the Native Americans.

“We are thankful for you, Native Americans.  And for this corn!” said the Pilgrims, as they held up their corn.

“Yes!  Corn is good!” said the Native Americans.

“Corn is good!” said everyone.

THE END

Comments

[Brad Hoblitzell]

I laughed. I cried. It was much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again and again. Corn is Good, Very Good. Take this on the road just like BTLOG. I need to go now, I'm feeling hungry for some corn....mmmmm.....corn.

[Tim Patterson]

Nice work. Really had me on the edge of my seat. Not sure how it was going to turn out until the very end. I have not been this rivted since Titanic (never saw the ship sinking coming). Much better writing than anything M. Night has done since the Sixth Sense. Just don't sell this to Hollywood. They will sex it up. Have you seen Disney's Pocahontas?

[Brian Franklin]

That was amazing. I love, "This is a wonderful land. May we have it." "Ummm....."

Classic piece of writing.

[Jason]

Just saw on your facebook page that you liked Ender's Game. I knew I liked you, Andy. Now if you would just follow up on that comment about putting up chord charts...