Friday
Jun172005
can't go on
Friday, June 17, 2005 at 05:18AM
it's 4 am. At midnight I felt tired enough to not take my sleeping medicine. I was wrong. Oh well. I'm a pretty great procrastinator, especially when I'm trying to convince myself to go to bed late nights have been a big part of my songwriting time. Unfortunately, I don't really have the luxury of late night writing much anymore, and my days are so much busier now with the studio, my family, life in general, than it was when I was 19. It's become very hard for me to write songs at all because of this, and when I get the time I can psyche myself out because I feel like it's so rare that it really has to count. Tonight, though, I wandered down, at about 2:30, and sat at the ol' blue piano and actually wrote a song. Now, it's not very good, but at least I wrote something.
I've been digging the sounds we've gotten with Chris Mason's EP, and I wanted to try to capture something else in that vein. I half wrote it as an excuse to have something to record with a mic'ing technique that I came up with the other day. I've been trying to think of creative ways of picking up a performance of a singer with his instrument. It's pretty easy with guitar, but piano is way harder. I set up two mics, each about a foot from my mouth and a foot in front of the hammers on the piano, and the mics were pointed straight at me. Well, it turns out, it sounds terrible, and it's 4 am and my voice was shot, anyway. And I didn't really have any chords or melody for the verses, just words and then a chorus part. I guess that means I didn't really write a song. Oh well.
The lyrics aren't the greatest, but they're not too bad, either. I think I'll write them out, just because it's late enough that I don't know better. Oh, and speaking of not knowing better. I think I might have insinuated in a post a few days ago that Chris didn't sing very well on his last record. At least, I think I phrased it awkwardly enough to make people think that. As my wife can attest, I am almost constantly offending people and also almost constantly unaware of it. You'd think I'd have learned after just insulting a church full of tons of people I care about, but I just like the taste of my own feet, apparently. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure and say that Chris sang well on his last record. Very well. It wasn't like it was awful or anything, at all. He's just gotten so much better that we were amazed at how little work we had to do this time. Compared to anybody. So, Chris, you're great, I meant it as a compliment, sorry if it didn't sound like it. Ok, so here are some mediocre lyrics, with a few nice moments. I just think it will be fun if some of these find their way into something that gets released and you can say you saw it here first.
can't go on
I've been an angry man,
I've been a bitter soul,
I threw away good things I had
for others I could not hold
and I trusted the wrong things,
I gave in so easily,
I don't know if I'm surprised
at what's really inside of me
but I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
they say time is a river
of sadness and healing,
washes away the things we love
yet it cleans us when we're bleeding,
but I've been leaving the tv on,
cause I'm scared of the silence,
scared of what I will find,
of a raging, animal violence
and I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
and if I'm here to die,
let my dry bones dance
under this breaking (wounded) sky
that has witnessed my forgiveness
cause I threw the game
for a worthless bet
but He who has begun it
will be faithful to the end
and I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
I think I really dig that first verse, but not too sure about the second. The bridge interests me as an idea, but not as a finished product. I'd like to really bring out the idea that the chorus changes its meaning after the bridge, that because God is faithful to complete His good work in me, I can not help but be changing for the better. That's probably one of those over-thought intentions that only Bobes and Ben Shive will ever get, but hey... I wish I could just play you the chorus, because the music to it is pretty cool, I think. The piano just brings out such different movement in the chords. Even for people who play piano as terribly as me. I just love the seperation of right and left hand movement. Ok, it's obvious, to me at least, that I am officially in sleep-deprivation babble talk. I will now try to go to bed. Good night.
I've been digging the sounds we've gotten with Chris Mason's EP, and I wanted to try to capture something else in that vein. I half wrote it as an excuse to have something to record with a mic'ing technique that I came up with the other day. I've been trying to think of creative ways of picking up a performance of a singer with his instrument. It's pretty easy with guitar, but piano is way harder. I set up two mics, each about a foot from my mouth and a foot in front of the hammers on the piano, and the mics were pointed straight at me. Well, it turns out, it sounds terrible, and it's 4 am and my voice was shot, anyway. And I didn't really have any chords or melody for the verses, just words and then a chorus part. I guess that means I didn't really write a song. Oh well.
The lyrics aren't the greatest, but they're not too bad, either. I think I'll write them out, just because it's late enough that I don't know better. Oh, and speaking of not knowing better. I think I might have insinuated in a post a few days ago that Chris didn't sing very well on his last record. At least, I think I phrased it awkwardly enough to make people think that. As my wife can attest, I am almost constantly offending people and also almost constantly unaware of it. You'd think I'd have learned after just insulting a church full of tons of people I care about, but I just like the taste of my own feet, apparently. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure and say that Chris sang well on his last record. Very well. It wasn't like it was awful or anything, at all. He's just gotten so much better that we were amazed at how little work we had to do this time. Compared to anybody. So, Chris, you're great, I meant it as a compliment, sorry if it didn't sound like it. Ok, so here are some mediocre lyrics, with a few nice moments. I just think it will be fun if some of these find their way into something that gets released and you can say you saw it here first.
can't go on
I've been an angry man,
I've been a bitter soul,
I threw away good things I had
for others I could not hold
and I trusted the wrong things,
I gave in so easily,
I don't know if I'm surprised
at what's really inside of me
but I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
they say time is a river
of sadness and healing,
washes away the things we love
yet it cleans us when we're bleeding,
but I've been leaving the tv on,
cause I'm scared of the silence,
scared of what I will find,
of a raging, animal violence
and I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
and if I'm here to die,
let my dry bones dance
under this breaking (wounded) sky
that has witnessed my forgiveness
cause I threw the game
for a worthless bet
but He who has begun it
will be faithful to the end
and I can't go on,
I can't go on,
I can't go on like this
I think I really dig that first verse, but not too sure about the second. The bridge interests me as an idea, but not as a finished product. I'd like to really bring out the idea that the chorus changes its meaning after the bridge, that because God is faithful to complete His good work in me, I can not help but be changing for the better. That's probably one of those over-thought intentions that only Bobes and Ben Shive will ever get, but hey... I wish I could just play you the chorus, because the music to it is pretty cool, I think. The piano just brings out such different movement in the chords. Even for people who play piano as terribly as me. I just love the seperation of right and left hand movement. Ok, it's obvious, to me at least, that I am officially in sleep-deprivation babble talk. I will now try to go to bed. Good night.
Reader Comments (6)
"but I’ve been leaving the tv on,
cause I’m scared of the silence,"
... I really like this line because I can identify with it.
...and I'm guessing the "dry bones dance" line is a nod to Mark Heard? If so, I approve!
Yeah, I thought the same thing about the "dry bones dance" line.
And you're right about that first verse. It gets the Ronzilla Seal of Approval. (as if it matters)
I'm with Jeff - the line about leaving the tv on strikes a chord with me. I also identify with this one:
"I don’t know if I’m surprised
at what’s really inside of me..."
Sometimes I'm suprised... often times, sadly, I'm not.
So sit down in your basement and record us a demo... :-)
I had just copied the same TV/silence line in order to point out that it is the BEST PART OF THE SONG. Except I used to do that with my laptop, not the TV, but it's the same thing.
I am also with everyone else on the TV line, however I agree that the 2nd verse just doesn't quite flow as well overall. Anyway I'd definitely say its a good start, I'm impressed, keep up the good work!
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